Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
