You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize