Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
