thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
