why didn't you poke me back
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
