I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
