evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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