He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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