Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
