I wish I could punch you in the face.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This house was built for laser tag.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
