Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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