is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
