can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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