I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
