His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is my gift to your gina
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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