CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize