they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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