I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
