Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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