just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
