Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize