Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
