so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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