there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
