So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
