I cockslap morals
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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