New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize