I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
