Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dear god my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
