So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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