There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
