Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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