i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
