i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
