let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
