You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
did i walk over a car last night?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
