i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
