It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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