Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The Olympian is in my bed
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