Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
