I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
