If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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