its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
