Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
