we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
