my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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