At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
