Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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