Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
