I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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