the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
