Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love you. Go after that dick
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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