you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
