Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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