She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
