I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
