i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
