I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
