He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we're making bets on your personal life
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
