i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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