She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
