careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
