I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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