dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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